nut
by KeithLoverBae
Summary: In which Sven is premature. This includes Slav. We are so sorry.


"Sven !"

Sven turned around and gazed into the eyes of the wonderful creature who called his name while the crew tried to clean the blood which was coming out of their ears. Pidge, who was half gremlin half whatever the fuck he was was running towards the dark broad figure who wouldn't last ten episodes. Sven was in a complete shock. What could this ear bleeding creature want with him? Recently, Pidge had been haunting his dreams, whispering sweet words to his ears. While it was unbearable for an average human, Sven just loved the sound of this space-dwarf-thing.

"What is it?"

Sven was all ears. What a charming beautiful small man he was. His figureless body still inspired him. It sent his heart aflame every time he saw those huge glasses on that soft looking face.

"I need to talk to you in private."

This was new.

Sven only nodded and let the small green wearing dwarf lead him out of the room. In the meantime, it gave the other paladins a chance to heal their eardrums and to clean the rest of the gushing blood.

Svem followed the midget into his room. Pidge locked the door and stared at him.

"Sven...I have to confess...I don't see you as a friend anymore…".

Sven froze. What would that mean ?

"How do you see me then ?" he asked with a worried tone.

Suddenly, Pidge grabbed him by the collar and kissed him. Sven melted into the kiss. When the kiss stopped, Pidge whispered to his ear :

"I see you as a lover."

Sven was happy and at the same time, he didn't know if it was really morally acceptable because he had no idea if Pidge was 12 or fucking 40.

"P… Pidge look I-"

"No! Don't deny me this, Sven! I've wanted you since I laid my eyes on you. Please… My chest feels like it will concave if I don't see you. But at the same time… If I do… My heart will give out."

Pidge's eyes were suddenly filling to the brim with tears. It was as if Sven was watching one of those animes Keith had shown him on Earth.

Sven held Pidge closer.

"How old are you even?"

"F…"

40\. It had to be 40.

"50."

Good enough.

Pidge began to kiss him on the neck. Sven moaned in pleasure. Damn, it seems that he was experienced. Pidge suddenly fell onto his knees and pulled down his zipper.

"P-Pidge !"

"Your laser blaster, Sven...I wanna taste it.'

"Pidge please… B-Be gentle… This is my first time senpai…"

The moment the blade of glory emerged from Sven's jumpsuit, he sprung out like a daisy in the beginning of spring. He had to be about ten inches. It wasn't even fully erect yet.

"God damn Sven… You're hung like a horse," Pidge gazed admiringly. "Quite delicious."

The moment the warm flat of Pidge's tongue touched the head of Sven's dick, splatters of thick whipped cream coated the surface of the merciful tongue.

"Oh god Sven… You taste like Hunk's choux à la crème-"

A window crashed. A worm like bird creature was there suddenly, and it was far too late to cover up when an accented voice said :

"Hello."

The two of them stared at the weird creature. The strange alien looked at what was supposed to be his feet, clearly embarrassed.

"Huh, I suppose I just arrived in a reality where the two of you are...busy."

"Who the hell are you?!" Pidge asked this weirdo. The bird worm didn't look up.

"I am Slav. And I have seen realities beyond belief. I didn't expect to emerge in this one. It was far too complicated and quite disturbing to even think of arriving at."

Sven, now shirtless for no reason whatsoever, bared his bara titties to the worm- Slav- and looked at him with a seductive look :

"You… Want sum fuk?"

Slav did something with his mouth which was certainly supposed to be a smile.

"I definitely like this reality !"

He approached Sven with grabby hands and gripped his glorious manboobs. Sven smirked.

''Do you like that ?"

"Meh. I actually was in a reality in which they were bigger. And you had a scar across your face, too."

Pidge slapped Slav's hands with an angry look.

"Stop touching them if they are not good enough for you."

"No need to be so upset ! The three of us can have...some fun."

Slav pushed them onto the bed. (Let's just pretend that a bed was there from the very beginning because we suck at properly writing a scenario) He semi smirked.

"Oh definitely. My calculations tell me that this got over 9000% better. It's off the chart really."

Pidge looked at the two as if he were a hentai anime shojo boy and started unbuttoning, or rather unzipping his jumpsuit. What a sight he could get used to, his inexperienced sexy boys hot and bothered just for him. And as quickly as it took to form Voltron (which is what? 30 seconds? 15 ticks?), all three men were undressed and ready to get some action.

Their tongues and hands explored each others' bodies, soaking in the pure erotic sight of one another. Oh how hardening it was to see this.

"My calculations have risen by 10%."

"Just shut the fuck up already. Let's just fuck."

In a few ticks, off they went. Their dicks slamming into each other and moaning in pleasure. To be quite honest no one knew if Slav even had an ass. But it'd do. Their thingies in their you know whats kept going. And soon, every one came. That wasn't the end of it though.

Sven laid on his stomach while Slav spread his buttcheeks. He began to toss his salad while Pidge sat on the side of the bed and began to jerk off.

"Damn...it feels so good."

Slav stopped and let Pidge take his place.

"Are you ready Sven ?"

Pidge slided in and moaned.

"This is so great !"

Pidge began to thrust into Sven's hole with a quick pace.

"Do you like that ?!"

"Well, I don't feel anything…" Sven muttered against the mattress.

Suddenly, a crash erupted and a space tree fell through the castle. It hit Sven on the back and Sven nutted. He then died. Pidge and Slav were in complete shock. They just watched their disgrace of a Norwegian accented boyfriend die. Right as they were fucking.

"SVEN!" Pidge screamed. Slav and Pidge held each other, dicks out.

He was dead. Sven was dead. Of course he had cum while being crushed by a mysterious space tree. But he was dead. What in tarnation could've caused it?

Then, where the hole was, a ship appeared. It was Lotor!

"Mwahahahaha! If I can't be happy with Princess Allura, then no one else can be happy with their beloveds!"

"You sick emo bastard! We were having fun! No wonder you're so bad at being evil."

Lotor cried. It was bad enough that he had to hear this from his father Zarkon. Now the gremlin was giving him shit. Could it get any worse for the prince?

There was an awkward silence, only broken by Lotor and Pidge's sobs.

Slav scratched the back of his head and finally looked into Prince Lotor's eyes.

"So...You wanna join us ?"

And he did.

The end.

(We truly apologize.)


End file.
